It’s a Wonderful Dad’s Life

Back in California

If I could see through clouds, I would be looking at Mono Lake.

Flying Home

I just finished a week up at Old Mission and am flying home. Currently I am on the border between Utah and Nevada, just north of Big Basin National Park.

This year is a little different in that I left Melinda and the kids behind for another two weeks. I think it will be good for the family, especially the kids. At the same time, I am already feeling the loss. Perhaps though what I am feeling is that I am stepping outside of my comfort zone.

So far the flight has been eventless. Aside from the pangs of longing for my family.

Remedial Parenting

Being that I am home for the week, I fell back into the mode of taking the kids wherever I go. Today we had a couple of errands. First Kat needed new Crocs. Second, Kat had a physical.

So I loaded the kids up, said goodbye to Melinda, and headed out.

Getting to the mall was easy. Both kids were excited about getting out. We got to the mall, and after a few child imposed detours, found our way to the store. We got the shoes with little fanfare and headed out. As I started to direct the kids back to the car, things started to a bit awry.

Will didn’t want to leave. He started head off into the mall. I called him back, so he refused to move. He sat down on the ground and complained. So I picked him up and Kat, Will and I headed to the car with William crying out that I was hurting him.

He promised to walk at the stairs, so I put him down only to have him sit back down on the ground and refuse to walk. So I picked him back up and carried him to the car.

Once in the car, he started crying and screaming. I ignored him for a while, but after 10 minutes, I decided enough was enough and told him enough or he would get a time out.

He didn’t quiet down, so I pulled the car over into a non-descript parking lot and pulled him out of his seat and told him that his behavior was unacceptable. Slowly, as we sold on the side of the lot, he settled down and was ready to get back in the car.

Once in the car, Kat mentioned that she was hungry. Both kids wanted a snack, so on the way tho the doctor’s office, we stopped at the house to get a snack.

After cookies, Kat and Will were back to happy and we headed off.

Song Snippet

I want to protect you from all the monsters that come into your life.
I want to protect and ensure that nothing bad ever comes to life.
So how do even try to explain
The monster that lives inside of my brain
The monster that causes fear every day
Is me Is me Is me

Head Against the Wall

Last week, I spent a good three days discussing the ins and outs of a new tool we are developing for my group. During this meeting, I consistently felt like a lone voice arguing against more control on the teams, arguing that we needed to facilitate work, not prevent it. They argued that we needed to provide reduce decisions to create more consistency across the teams.

In short, they argue that we need to create a McDonalds environment.

To say I am frustrated is an understatement. And yet, looking back, I am realizing that this is the culture that this group has fostered from the beginning. The idea that you can create common processes that dictate every decision, every movement, every keystroke.

I am realizing that I am the outlier here. I am fighting a culture war. And in a culture war, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. It only matters that the dominate culture is against me. And that means that I will lose.

There cannot be any other outcome.

Conversations

As we were walking out of the latest Theatreworks show Opus.
Melinda: So what did you think?
Me: It was OK. It was pretty out there.
Melinda: Yeah, not too deep.
Me: Yeah, the story was written to shock you, not tell a deep meaningful message. It pales to Daddy Longlegs. Of course that one is much more sentimental.
Melinda: Are you saying as you get older, you like the good stories?
Me: Yeah, I guess as I get older, I do like sentimental stories more than the artsy stuff.
Melinda: Yep, your getting old.
Me: Well the day I look forward to seeing South Pacific for the sixth time, you can go ahead and put me out of my misery.

Things Are Never Dull

Melinda tells me that William, who was taking a bath decided that it would be an interesting experiment to see what would happen if he poured the bath tub water through a funnel onto the floor. Melinda said that he very successfully tested this idea and covered our floor with water.

Of course when Melinda used the towels to soak up the water, he became quite angry because he would need a towel to dry off. Fortunately, we have  other towels.

Yesterday, William also decided to work on his cherry pit spitting skills.

At first, he would put a cherry in the mouth, run out to the back yard and spit the pit towards a window. Of course after a time, he decided that there was a lot of effort in doing this and so decided to simply work on spitting and not running. As the bowl of cherries were in the living room, well it just made sense that to minimize effort, it would be best to spit them out onto the floor.

Melinda wasn’t too pleased as she pulled out the steam cleaner to ensure the cherry juice didn’t permanently damage the carpet.

In other news, William decided he wanted his birthday party at pump it up this year. That should be fun.

Starbucks

Today, Melinda told me that while Kat had a friend over for  a play date, William decided to go to Starbucks.

But he didn’t tell anybody that he had decided this.

He simply walked out the door, jumped on his big wheel and started riding to the coffee merchant. I suspect he was ready for a cookie.

Melinda ran after him and caught up to him at the top of our street.

He was quite upset she said when she made him turn around and go back home.

Things I Worry About

William is very high energy. This is familiar to me. I too was high energy.

But this high energy is being translated today into ADHD. And I worry a lot about the fact that William’s high energy, coupled with his strong will will translate into a push from his schools to get him on drugs.

I certainly do not want to put Will on Ritalin or any other drug.

Thus, these days, I am really starting to push William to control his emotions, follow instructions, accept some control on his life.

Basically, the same lessons I had to learn growing up.

For example, when he doesn’t follow instructions, I am punishing him. When he throws toys, the toy goes away. When he screams and yells, I give him a time out.

He seems to be responding.

He is a smart little guy.

He still pushes and fights everything. At the end of the day, he still wants to do everything his way.

But at least he is doing it more quietly than before.

Not the Morning I Expected

So this morning, we all woke up looking forward to the day. I had plans for yard work. Cooking. Farmer’s Market. I was looking forward to a very busy, productive day.

One of my first tasks was to bake scones for breakfast.

I did it well. I was very proud of my creation as I put the bread into the oven to bake.

Melinda and I decided to eat on the patio. So we were running around, putting things on the table. I went to the refrigerator and tried to grab the orange juice off the door.

This was the moment when things went a little south.

The juice container was packed in tightly between two glass milk jars and as I lifted the orange juice out of the rack, the rack itself lifted up and then fell off the door.

The two glass jars fell to the ground.

And shattered.

And spread milk all over the floor.

And shards of glass embedded into my bare feet.

I looked down and saw milk everywhere.

Around my feet the milk had streaks of red.

Melinda ran in, kept the kids at bay as she swept and mopped up the mess.

I walked into the bathroom and cleaned up my feet.

And removed little sharp pieces of glass out of my feet.

And put bandages onto my wounds.

And wrapped my foot with an ace bandage to put pressure on my foot to stop the bleeding.

And then I joined Melinda in the cleaning and getting the table set for breakfast.

And then we ate.

And then for the rest of the day, I tried to stay off my feet as I have two large cuts on the bottom of my feet.